i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
