I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
