ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
