I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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