She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
