I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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