Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize