I want to walk on stilts...naked
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I'm really busy with my period
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