Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
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