shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Randomize