I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
