All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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