I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Randomize
