Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
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