I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
you had me at cake vodka
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
