He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
