I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
