how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
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