WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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