so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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