absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
