Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Randomize
