lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
