It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
