My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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