"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize