Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
