She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
