i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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