Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
