I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
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