omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
