I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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