I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
