a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
