No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
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