So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
