Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Randomize
