Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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