I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
