just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
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