Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
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