The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
