I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
