is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
