wanna go halves on a baby?
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
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