Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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