my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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