FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
It's official drugs can't kill me
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Randomize
