don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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