He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
