My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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