Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
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