You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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