Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
