bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
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