Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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