She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
