cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
