ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
