then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
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