It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
that is very illegal...i love you.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
