i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize