are you so shy because you have an std?
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
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