i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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