Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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